Chuck vs the Very Scary Robots
by Slint
Summary: Chuck and co. meet the Connor Clan! They must work together to prevent the creation of Skynet and the ever-present threat of The Ring! Pairings are John/Cameron and Chuck/Sarah W.
1. Moving Day

"So who decided that we should move to Burbank?" John asked.

"I did," Cameron replied.

"And why are we moving? I didn't know we were, like, in grave danger here," John said, really just trying to get out of packing.

"We are not in grave danger. However, we have reason to believe that Kaliba is setting up a base of operations in Burbank," Cameron replied.

"In Burbank? That's a little weird," John asked, wondering why a dangerous group like Kaliba would set up shop in Burbank.

"It does seem like an odd choice," Cameron replied. She then went into a long and in-depth analysis of the possible strategy behind Kaliba's move to Burbank, which John mostly tuned out.

John ran a hand through his hair. He wasn't going to miss the house. Too many weird things had happened here, from killing Sarkissian to taking a gamble with bringing Cameron back. He had just gotten into the habit of living here. And John really didn't like packing. He had done it so many times that he was sick of it. He was sick of always moving around, sick of never being able to settle down into one place for a long period of time. He was glad that they were finally going on the offensive, even if it meant moving to an entertainment business-infested place like Burbank. Lost in his thoughts, John didn't notice his mom coming down the stairs.

"John! Stop zoning out and start packing," Sarah commanded in the way that only she could. John shook his head, returning to reality and quickly made his way up the stairs.

"You too, Tin Miss," Sarah said. Cameron followed John up the stairs.

John went into his bedroom and sat down on the edge of his bed. He picked up the Lego robot that Riley had made him. He ran his hands over the smooth plastic, his fingernails clicking each time they hit a seam. John didn't know what to think about Riley. After the disastrous trip to Mexico, John knew that his life would always be too dangerous for her. He also discovered something that he never thought that he would admit. He discovered that Cameron would always be there, saving him when he did something stupid, no matter how he treated her. He didn't know exactly what he thought about his cyborg guardian, but he knew that he had to be more civil to her.

_Well John, good job being an angst-ridden teenager_, he thought with a grin as he got up off the bed and started packing. Sarah's moving day cry ("only the essentials!") was replaying in his mind. He grabbed his clothes, folded them sloppily and shoved them into his duffle bag. On the very top he put his copy of The Wizard of Oz, lovingly placed well away from his boxers and socks. _I really don't know why I hate packing so much_, he thought, _I just shove all my stuff into this duffle bag anyway. _He went into his bathroom and put his toiletries into a Ziploc bag. The process took about 10 minutes.

He started going down the stairs when he realized that he forgot something very essential. Possibly more essential than his socks and boxers. He ran back into his room to find Cameron going through his closet.

"Uh, what are you doing?" John asked.

"Sarah asked me to make sure you didn't forget anything," Cameron said, "Why did you run back into your room." Cameron cocked her head.

"I, uh, I forgot something," John said.

"Oh," Cameron said.

"I think I left it in the nightstand," John said, mostly to himself.

"I searched your nightstand," Cameron said, "The only thing in it was this dirty rag. I don't understand why you would keep this."

"Oh, you found it!" John said, grabbing the rag with obvious joy.

Cameron cocked her head. Suddenly John realized that his happiness over a dirty rag would seem very strange.

"This is the rag I used to clean your CPU," John explained, "after the car bomb."

"Why did you keep it?" Cameron asked.

"I don't know," John said, suddenly feeling awkward, "This rag helped me get you back."

"But I'm just a cyborg," Cameron said, "You could have simply reprogrammed a triple eight had I been destroyed.

"I could have," John said, running his fingers over the rag, "But it wouldn't have been the same. You're different, Cam. And I…"

"John! Cameron! Are you two done packing?" Sarah yelled up the stairs.

John rolled his eyes. _Good timing, mom_, he thought. "Yeah, we're done packing!" John yelled back.

"Good! Get down here. Derek's getting impatient," Sarah said.

"Alright Cam, we should probably head downstairs," John said, grabbing his duffle bag. Furrowing his brow, he realized that he'd never once called Cameron that.

"Cam?" Cameron asked, cocking her head.

"Uh, it's, like, a nickname, I guess," John explained, feeling a little foolish, "You know what a nickname is, right?"

"Yes," Cameron replied, "A nickname is a familiar or humorous name given to a person or thing instead of or as well as the real name."

"Yeah, you got it," John said, "let's get downstairs before Derek throws a fit."

"Yes. Derek can be quite impatient. Very childish," Cameron said, causing John to laugh. Cameron smiled back shyly. John wrapped The Wizard of Oz with the rag and placed it back into the duffle bag. He grabbed his duffle bag and Cameron grabbed her suitcase and they both headed downstairs, where Derek and Sarah were waiting.

"Took you long enough," Derek called out.

"Burbank's not going anywhere," John replied.

"Burbank is moving," Cameron said. Faced with the blank stares of everyone in the room, she went on. "Burbank is located on the North American plate, which is constantly moving at a very slow rate."

"See John?" Derek said, "The Tin Can knows what she's talking about."

John rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he said.

"People! It doesn't matter. Let's just get moving," Sarah commanded. And when Sarah commanded something, people always followed.

The Connor clan said their goodbyes to the house that had seen so much and finally piled all of their belongings into their car. Because of Sarah's insistence on always being able to move quickly, everything they had fit into three suitcases and two duffle bags (one of which was filled to the brim with various weaponry). They all got their seats in the car ("I call shotgun! I call nine-millimeter.") and started the not-so-long car ride to Burbank. Their new home.


	2. Burbank State of Mind

A/N: The Connor Clan is in Burbank! The characters from Chuck are going to make an appearance in this chapter, and it's going to be a big ol' party. Yes, I'm starting this story out rreeaaalllllly slllooowwwllly. Please review!

**Chuck's POV**

Chuck was back to work at the Buy More. Last night he had saved California, and quite possibly the world from a group of the Russian Mafia. A group that had been led by a pyromaniacal midget. It was one of the strangest fights he had ever gotten into, one that involved a lot of kicking. But today he was back at the Nerd Herd desk, helping pitiful luddites with their technology woes. _Seriously, if you're 40, you should be able to figure out how to use a Jitterbug, _Chuck thought, thinking of a rather troubled middle-aged man he had helped that morning. Just then, Chuck saw two teenagers heading towards his desk and braced himself. Teenagers were always the worst. They always thought they knew more about computers than he did and were generally just annoying. _Yeah, and get off my lawn, _Chuck thought sarcastically. However, these two teenagers actually didn't look that bad. The guy was rather serious looking, with short brown hair and intense eyes, and the girl was simply awkwardly attractive.

And then it hit him. A flash. Images flashed in front of him, relatives of the teenage boy, pictures from security cameras, notes from a psychologist about the boy's mother, news reports and fake identities. He got one major fact from the flash. This kid was dangerous, and he was related to people who were even more dangerous. His own mother was a frightening yet beautiful terrorist who had spent time in a high-security mental hospital. They had also disappeared off of the face of the earth for eight years, only to materialize in 2007. And Sarah's son, John, was here now. In the Buy More. Walking right to him.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my…" Chuck mumbled under his breath.

"Um, excuse me?" John said, studying Chuck warily.

"God?" Chuck asked, mentally kicking himself. _I'm totally not acting suspiciously, _Chuck thought. "Uh…do you believe in…God?" Chuck asked, feeling like a colossal idiot.

"No," John replied, staring at Chuck apprehensively.

"Okay," Chuck said. There was a long, awkward silence, until Chuck realized that the two were probably waiting for him to say something. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah, we were wondering if we could apply for a job here," John said.

"You'll want to talk to Big Mike…Mr. Turner…we call him Bike Mike around her," Chuck said, laughing in an attempt to ease the tension. It didn't work.

"Thank you," the girl said, flashing him a smile. Chuck smiled awkwardly, glad that John Connor (Reese? Baum? Which one was it really?) was leaving the immediate vicinity. _Maybe they won't even be hired, _Chuck thought, _and they could go bother some other underpaid, overworked underachieving secret-agent/tech-store-employee_. _Maybe…_

Chuck's wishful thinking was interrupted by Big Mike, who walked out of his office with his massive arms around the shoulders of the two teenagers, both of whom looked very uncomfortable with being so close to Big Mike. Big Mike was saying something along the lines of "the more, the merrier" and "the more employees, the less I have to work". Chuck hung his head. _Never a dull…well, I should probably call Sarah_, Chuck thought.

**John's POV**

"I just don't see why we have to get a summer job," John said, "I mean, it's not like we have to worry about getting job experience or anything."

"Sarah said that we have keep ourselves busy and to stay out of trouble," Cameron said in her usual monotone.

"Stay out of trouble? My mom blew up, like, two office buildings," John said, "And she almost killed a guy…"

Cameron opened her mouth, wanting to get a word in edgewise.

"A lot of guys, actually…"

Cameron closed her mouth, staring at John with an annoyed look on her face.

"And some women, too…"

"John…" Cameron said in an exasperated tone.

"And she actually did kill that first T-800. She almost killed the second. _And _she helped kill the T-1000…"

"John, we're here," Cameron said, gesturing to the Buy More.

"Oh," John said, feeling dumb, "Right."

The two made their way across the parking lot to the entrance of the Buy More. Just outside the entrance of the Buy More, a creepy old man with wild, unkempt hair was holding a large, yellow sign that read, "Shop at Buy More!" John and Cameron at looked each other, confused.

"It would be more logical if you positioned yourself further away from the store to…advertise," Cameron said, stepping back a few paces as the man leaned forward in an attempt to sniff her. She looked like she was about to rip his head off. Or run away and shower for days.

"I'm not allowed to be more than two hundred feet from the store," Jeff said in a tired sounding voice, "and I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school or a Chuck E. Cheese."

"Okay then," John said, hurriedly walking towards the entrance of the store with Cameron close behind.

Feeling safe now that they were in the nice, clean store, John turned to Cameron with a fearful expression on his face. "I've fought triple-eights and T-1000s, but I've never see anything as disturbing as that," John said.

"I agree. He attempted to smell me," Cameron said, pointing out the obvious.

"Yeah, that was really weird," John said.

Suddenly, feeling bold and just a little silly, John leaned over and slowly inhaled Cameron's fragrance, a mixture of grapefruit shampoo and some kind of floral perfume. "Hmm," John said, grinning, "Well, I don't blame him. You do smell good."

Shockingly, she didn't seem at all trouble by his uncharacteristically flirtatious behavior. Instead, she simply smiled back shyly, which only made John grin even more. They slowly made their way to what they assumed was the help desk. A fairly attractive, brown-haired thirty-something male was sitting at the desk, looking bored to tears. However, when he saw John and Cameron, he freaked out, mumbling under his breath and looking rather frightened.

"Um, excuse me?" John said, studying the employee warily. John spied a nametag attached to the employee's shirt. It read "Chuck Bartowski"

"God?" Chuck asked, oddly enough. "Uh…do you believe in…God?" Chuck asked, feeling like a colossal idiot. _What the hell is up with this guy_, John thought.

"No," John replied, staring at Chuck apprehensively.

"Okay," Chuck said. There was a long, awkward silence as John and Cameron waited for Chuck to say something. "Can I help you?" he finally asked.

"Yeah, we were wondering if we could apply for a job here," John said.

"You'll want to talk to Big Mike…Mr. Turner…we call him Bike Mike around her," Chuck said, laughing awkwardly as he pointed at an office at the back of the store. Meanwhile, John flashed Cameron his best _what-is-wrong-with-this-guy _look. Cameron simply shrugged subtly.

"Thank you," Cameron said finally, flashing him a smile. John and Cameron, glad to get away from the creepy employee, quickly made their way to the office. John knocked on the door of the office and was greeted by a massive beast of a man.

"Hi kids! What can I do for you?" Big Mike asked loudly, spreading his arms wide as he did.

"We want to sign up for a job here," John said.

Big Mike's face brightened instantly. "Sure thing. You're hired," he said.

"Well, we have a lot of experience with computers and…wait, really?" John asked, surprised that they were hired so readily.

"Yeah, sure!" Big Mike said, putting his arms around John and Cameron, "The more employees, the less I have to work!"

"Right…" John said, squirming out from under Big Mike's massive arm. Cameron had already escaped from his grasp. John seriously hoped that she wouldn't hurt Big Mike.

_Well, at least we have both a job now, _John said.


	3. Phoneage

"Sarah, c'mon Sarah, pick up your phone, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, c'mon…"

"Chuck?"

"…Sarah, pick up Sarah! Sarah, pick up your phone, c'mon Sarah. Sarah…"

"Chuck, I'm talking to you."

"Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, why aren't you answering…"

"CHUCK!"

"Oh. Hey, Sarah."

"Hi Chuck. What is it?"

"What's what?"

"Well, you seem rather…agitated."

"Agitated…oh, right, I flashed."

"What! On who?"

"John Connor, a new employee at the Buy More. Oh, and it's supposed to be 'on whom'. Like 'on whom did you flash?' I would really think that a spy like you would know…"

"Chuck, I don't care."

"…Right. Anyway, it turns out he's the son of Sarah Connor. As in the mentally unstable, very dangerous, robots-are-going-to-kill-us-all Sarah Connor."

"Oh wow! Are you serious?"

"Yeah. He's a pretty nice kid, actually. Good with computers. His sister works here, too. She's frighteningly computer-savvy, and she's kind of c…"

"Wait, the son of _Sarah Connor_ is a _pretty nice guy?_"

"Believe it or not. So what should I do?"

"Hmm. I'd just keep them under surveillance. Just observe them and tell us if they do anything suspicious. I'll call Beckman."

"Ok. I can do that."

"And Chuck?"

"Yeah?"

"What were you going to say about his sister?"

"What?"

"Well, I cut you off earlier. You said that 'she's kind of…'"

"Oh…nothing…I mean, nothing bad. Or awkward. I mean, she's like, sixteen or something. I would never say something creepy like…"

"…Chuck, I never accused you of anything."

"Right. Uh…

"…"

"Oh no, I think I'm losing you! I'm going through a tunnel!"

"Chuck, you're in the Buy More."

"Well, it must be the…the…oh, I think…uh…Ellie is calling me! I'm coming Ellie! Little brother will save you!"

"Chuck, Ellie's in Africa."

*Click*

"Dammit, Chuck."


	4. One Week

Starting to write again. I've been so lazy over the summer that I really haven't been writing. But, a couple days ago inspiration struck, and out popped this chapter (and I have some good ideas for the next couple of chapters, too). So, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I hope that it'll ease the pain while you wait for the next season of Chuck! And if you like this fanfic, or if you don't, please leave a comment! Thanks!

* * *

"So, Cam, what do you think of the Buy More, after a thrilling week of working here?" John asked while prowling the aisles for confused customers.

"Low effort. Low pay," Cameron replied, and after getting a glimpse of Jeff and Lester, she added, "and low dignity."

"No kidding," John said, "What are those two doing?"

It was a question that wasn't easily answered. Jeff and Lester had gotten a ladder from the back room and were using it to mess with one of the light fixtures. All in all, it didn't look good, but sadly, completely in character for the two. Plenty of shoppers were looking at them worriedly. However, Jeff and Lester were so focused on whatever they were doing that they didn't even notice the strange glances they were getting. John signed and ran his hand through his hair. Jeff and Lester were extremely good at annoying people, if nothing else.

"You want to take care of this?" He asked Cameron.

"No. I got them to stop taping their music CDs to the backs of customers last week. Remember?"

"Ugh, right. Well, I'll be right back," John said, "Are you sure you don't want to join me?"

"I need to sell wireless printers, John," Cameron replied, "Big Mike says that there's nothing worse than a home without a printer."

"Yeah, whatever," John called out, not knowing if Cameron was being serious or not. He headed over to Jeff, Lester, and the light fixture.

"What, exactly, are you doing?" John asked the dastardly duo. They both turned around, eyes dilated, pulse raised, slightly sweaty, and red in the cheeks. John was at first pleased with himself for identifying the pair as guilty, but then he realized that he had used the skills Sarah Connor had beat into his brain on Jeff and Lester. He sighed again.

"We're turning this hanging light fixture into a booby trap," Lester explained.

"Look, I won't get you into trouble, I just…wait what?" John exclaimed, surprised that Jeff actually gave him a straight answer for once.

"Hehe, you said booby," Jeff said, in his normal half-drunk monotone.

"Why are you booby trapping this light fixture?" John asked incredulously. This was, by far, the craziest thing that Jeff and Lester had ever done.

"You said booby too," Jeff added.

"Very highbrow, Jeff," Lester admonished with mock strictness. He leapt off of the ladder and put his arm around John's shoulders, and continued, "You know how it is. Putting up with that Jeff…It's hard, but someone has to do it."

John cringed visibly. He really wanted to use some of the close-quarters fighting techniques that Cameron had showed him, but that would probably get him arrested. Or, even worse, it would make Big Mike assign him to clean the women's bathroom. Never again.

"Anyway, have you heard of the movie _The Discontinuer_?"

"No, I haven't."

"What? Of course you have"

"No, I really haven't."

"Well, you uncultured buffoon, it's about a cyborg that travels through time to kill this one man."

"Sounds like a real _Citizen Kane," _John said, while thinking, _a movie with a cyborg that travels through time? I wonder if I could get the rights to that._

"Anyway, the easiest ways to take down these cyborgs is to shock them and unplug their energy source. And Jeff and I figured that we should, y'know, take precautions. Just in case."

"Wait, what's the plot of this movie?"

"I don't want to ruin it for you, but if you insist. In this classic movie, a robot that was created by the Nazis is accidentally sent forward through time, and the robot tries to kill the president. It's an intelligent, forward-thinking study of the human condition. It made me tear up a little," Lester explained, sounding quite emotional.

"And you think this Nazi robot would come to the Burbank Buy More, and would go all Auschwitz on us?" John asked sarcastically. _Well, maybe I can't get the rights to the movie._

"One can never be too careful!" Lester declared, just as Jeff fell off the ladder and knocked over a carefully balanced stack of CDs.

"Good one," John remarked, "Lester, you really shouldn't mess with these lights. You might hurt the customers. One may even fall...on Big Mike."

"But…oh…the Nazi robot…'

"It may even fall on Chuck."

"I'll take it down right away!"

"And you should probably help your friend," John sighed, gesturing to Jeff, who kept tripping over the CD cases.

"Oh, right," Lester said worriedly, "Don't worry, buddy! Lester's coming to save you!"

John simply shook his head in disgust. He walked back over to Cameron, who was hovering around the wireless printer section. She did take her job seriously. And she did look good in the green Buy More polo. Speaking of the Buy More, John and Cameron were doing quite well. The two were used to killing Terminators and ending apocalypses, so selling consumer electronics was a piece of cake. They were rising quickly through the ranks of Buy More. There were even whisperings that the two could overtake Chuck and the throne of Buymoria. But they didn't really care. They were just at the Buy More to keep a low profile and to stay out of Sarah Connor's hair.

"So, did you sell any printers?" John asked.

"I made two sales while you were talking to Lester," Cameron reported, looking somewhat pleased with herself.

"Wow, that's quite impressive. Hey, have you heard of the movie 'The Discontinuer'? It's supposed to be pretty popular, or something," John questioned.

"Of course. It earned more than $78 million worldwide, and is widely regarded as the best film of 1984," She answered, sounding like she was reciting a Wikipedia article.

"How?"

"John, I still do not sleep," She said drily.

"Right. Anyway, Jeff and Lester were booby-trapping that light fixture, as a 'precaution' or something if the cyborg from 'The Discontinuer' shows up. I told them to stop."

"Did you just say 'booby'?"

"Ugh."

* * *

Chuck sighed. It was another boring day at the Buy More. A whopping one person had shown up at the Nerd Herd desk, and all that person had wanted was directions to the bathroom. There weren't even any flashes, no calls from Sarah or Casey to alert him of a mission, and even Jeff and Lester's usual shenanigans were put to a stop by that terrorist boy, John Connor. He rested his head on his desk with an audible thump and tried to take a nap. He, however, got bored of that after a couple minutes and sat back up, and discovered that even more nothing was happening in the store.

"I'm bored, oh so bored, oh yeah, I'm bored!" Chuck sang under his breath. It was his famous "I'm bored" song, "Woo, I'm bored, bored, bored, bored! I'm bo-OH MY GOD!"

He flashed. And it was a flash like no other. Instead of the normal CIA files and mugshots, he only got blurry images of glowing red dots and a strange, metal hand. Some of the articles he saw didn't make any sense, but one was unmistakable. It was a transcript of one of Sarah Connor's outbursts, taken from the Pescadaro Sate Hospital's database. In it, Sarah Connor spoke of killer robots from the future. Chuck panicked. He called Sarah Walker.

* * *

And it begins again. Poor John.

Yeah, I do tend to write really short chapters. Sorry.

PS: And if you've been following my other fanfic "Terminator: The John Connor Chronicles", I love you, and, uh, I'm really sorry that I haven't been updating it. Writing about anything post-apocalyptic is somewhat hard to do during summertime, and I know that's a stupid excuse, but it's hard. I tried to force myself to write the next chapter, but it didn't really turn that well. But I will definitely update by next week, and if I don't, you may PM me nasty things. Seriously. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, please ignore this postscript.


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